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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 7, 2012 17:56:51 GMT 1
inverclydenow.com/news/local/6460-sponsored-walk-benefits-residents-at-dementia-unitRemembering my mother who had this terrible illness, and how it slowly ate her soul away. To me it was like losing this person who had always been in my life disappear and another person entering her body. She never forgot who I was or my grandaughter but slowly forgot everyone else. As she progressed we saw emerging a woman who had the freedom to be herself and not give a piss about what other thought and yes, I secretly had a good few laughs watching her and her 2 wee mates planning the great escape out the window using their tied up bra,s as a rope. I hope and pray that they will find a way to slow down or cure this..................before I forget to pay my council tax...............just remembered you don,t pay it if you have dementure................hell I WOULD RATHER PAY IT , would you not ?.
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Post by tiddles on Feb 7, 2012 20:06:42 GMT 1
It is one of the most dreadful afflictions that can affect humankind and is effectively, a living death. For those who care for victims of this disease it is soul destroying as many on here can testify.
There is ongoing research and there are some drugs on the market that can slow the progress of the condition but it doesn't work with everyone. Another terrible facet of the disease is the fact that occasionally, the patient can experience flashes of recollection and for a few minutes or even seconds can appreciate what is happening to them before they drift back into the dark place. Truly hell on earth.
I have watched husbands, wives, children and friends go downhill themselves as they struggle to cope their loved ones. I have also seen MANY times the hell the the Social Work department causes when the stick their despicable beaks in. They don't care about anyone or anything other than saving the council cash. Individuals mean nothing to them.
One day when I was visiting a dementia patient who was being cared for by her son, a social worker arrived and proceeded to give the poor guy a helluva time because he hadn't filled out some form properly. The man ended up in tears whereupon I through the bitch out the house and threatened her with the police if she came back. I then went to the council and spoke to that evil scum sucking bastard, Tom Keenan who tried to shut me up by calling me an opinionated, "c***". I suppose you can all guess what happened next.
Big Harry Bun (aka Mulholland) was good enough to agree with me that my patient and her son were not being treated properly and forced Keenan to write a full apology both to me and the family. The social worker involved was, 'reassigned' and a new team with an, 'appropriate care package' was put on the case. Left to me, I'd have strung Keenan and the bitch up on the nearest lamp-post.
Big Harry was a serious rogue but at least what you saw was what you got, I don't think I'd get the same assistance from Flash Harry McCabe. My patient's son was so distressed one night that he called St Nell for help and she told him that she couldn't get involved with that kind of matter and suggested that he call Tom Keenan. Bless you Nell, you really are saint but for which side? Above or below?
Now as to this article, it's nice that these lads raised this money and they should be praised for their interest in the matter...HOWEVER, Larkfield View is owned by a private, English based company:
Mac Lakhani
Flagship Tower (Greenock) Limited
435 St. Mary's Lane
Upminster
RM14 3NU
They are well paid by the Scottish taxpayer to look after their inmates (patients or residents are not words I use when speaking of Granny Farms), it is up to them to provide everything necessary to help the poor unfortunate folk who end up in their caring, 'industry'.
They are most certainly NOT a charity and should therefore NOT receive any additional funding from anyone. Now I'm sorry if these comments annoy anyone but this is a subject that I feel very strongly about, I loathe and detest ANY organisation that seeks to make money out of the misery of others. I blame that red-headed old boot Thatcher for the Granny Farm industry but is she in one now that she is in the twilight world? Na, she is at home being cared for by the best attendants her millions can buy her. (party, my place the day the vicious old bastard dies!!!!).
So lads, nice idea but there are better boxes to drop £800 into if you want to help dementia sufferers.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 7, 2012 21:59:22 GMT 1
my gran had dementia, from a perfect lady to nearly a child it was so sad....it was funny, she remembered my dad all the time but my cousin said it was due to the tramatic time she had when she thought her beloved son was dead and then he came out of the camp and she got word...she never seemed to forget that time so she was able to recall him....
they had to give her a hanky for her hands as they were closing.....thank god she was cared for really well....
i would hate to be struck by that terrible illness...my uncle was also a sufferer who could read the paper over and over again as if it was his first time.....he was well taken care off to by family..
i get scared as memory is terrible...if someone asks me what i had for tea i have to really think about it before replying...i spoke to micheal about it and he said there was nothing to worry about but it does scare me...
for your patients' son....what a way to treat someone...a bloody form....is there no compasion....or is it they dont get paid for compasion and for nellie the elephant.....well she cant get involved....she just didnt want the hassle she means.......i would be after lots of blood....
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Post by tiddles on Feb 7, 2012 22:12:55 GMT 1
We all have memory lapses Linda but usually they are harmless. The time to worry is when you are having them all the time and are not noticing them. I am certain Jock would spot that.
The story above has a very sad ending but I would betray their memories if I said any more.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 7, 2012 22:48:02 GMT 1
people deserve dignity especially when they are like that.....it could hit anyone anytime...i think a lot of folk especially those who should be there for the family should remember that..
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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 7, 2012 23:02:39 GMT 1
I have to agree with everything said, I looked after my mother with my brother and at first I hated to see her distressed when she would come out of her fog and for a moment she would want to know where my dad was, and I would remind her of something that happened 20 years ago and ask her what the outcome was and she would smile as she recalled the event clearly, and slowly she would melt back into the fog she came from.
I will add that the people who worked and volunteered with sufferers in the Dutch gable house in William st were the most caring lot of people who always asked me how I was coping and did everything possible for her comfort when she went there, I cannot praise them highly enough and more is the pity they never got the money. Thanks Tiddles for the info.
I wish I could say the same for Dunrod unit, they actually lost my mother, and they hated it when I would take her into the toilet to check her body and then go through her wardrobe.
They were actually telling people they had no right to see where their family was sleeping or how they were being looked after. Yes it is a hard job but they never looked at the fact of how hard it is for the family, we were even told that she did,nt need a daily visit. A nurse in the passing said that my mother was doing great, and I replied that " she was dying from her feet up " my mother died a few days later and the doctor asked ME how did I know................you dont want my answer.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 8, 2012 0:08:06 GMT 1
the stories are so heart renching and i am so glad that my parents didn't have dementia...i dont know how i would have coped seeing one of my parents going into that fog....i think i would be in tears all the time...
its horrible to see someone you love and care for so deeply in that condition, i just pray that sometimes in the near future they do find something that will stem the condition from going so far...
for anyone that has lost someone to this terrible illness my heart goes out to them...
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Post by samfregreenock on Feb 8, 2012 10:04:12 GMT 1
Be patient with me as I ramble through this, it may get a bit dis-jointed at times.
The mater retired in 1995 after nearly 40 years in the NHS, mainly as the district midwife in Port Glasgow and then as a Health Visitor - she retired because of arthritis in her knees and hands, visits to houses up closes etc were impossible. She became the nursing officer for health visitors but not getting out and about visiting folk, doing the job scunnert her.
Anyways by early 2000 we had noticed she was changing, she gave up going to the bingo (her passion) then gave up driving (an even bigger passion than bingo) - her confidence seemed to be failing plus she started suffering from insomnia - my aunt ( another nursing officer and ma pal, who was the pharmacist) raised concerns about her self-medicating , her GP who had known her most of the 40 years was allowing it to a certain extent (more on that later)
She was admitted to hospital and after many examinations, de-toxing etc they treated her for depression - when that didn't work they diagnosed dementia (she was only 63)
She would have good periods and bad periods, the bad periods of no memory became longer and longer, soon she didn't know anyone apart from ma dad. She was never violent or through tantrums, in fact always very docile, although frustration was always there
What really shone for me was the way that they found out who their true friends were - this really sticks in ma craw, so much so, that if seen some people on fire I wouldn't cross the road to pish on them.
Lifelong friends of theirs disappeared without trace, citing all sorts of feeble excuses. They met 2 of them in Tescos about a year later, they appeared asking how they were blah blah blah - only time I had ever heard the pater swear in such a manner (" Sorry do we know you, fuck off cunts") They were telling everyone who would listen previously about how sorry they were about the mater but done fuk all to help - fukkers.
The mater's sister-in-law was just as bad, she would tell anyone who would listen that Margaret was just a vegetable, ( dunno how she knew this as they hadn't seen her in over a year) dad met her at the shops one day - he gave that bitch the same treatment ( her son & daughter got equally short shrift)
The mater was a church elder, in the wummins guild, done a lot for the church - they didnae see much of they fukkers either, when help/support was required
The one upside to all this was that mater's arthritis seemed to disappear, she could walk without a stick and had very little pain - dunno if the brain's pain receptors were being affected. But getting about seemed to be better.
I got the impression that some folk thought dementia maybe contagious and stayed well clear, or they were scared that the y may be looking at themselves some years hence.
Shining lights in all this were the following, I can't thank them enough
Inverclyde Dementia Care - lovely caring people, they couldn't do enough to help
IRH/Larkfield Unit Home Care/Social Workers - as above but their involvement is minimal until the council social work department take over.
Alzheimers Scotland - based in the dutch house at the time
Not so shining lights
Inverclyde Council Social Work Dept - useless fukkers who were only concerned in getting you to fill in means testing forms. Cold basturts the lot of them
Apart from one young trainee social worker, who was wonderful, hindered only by the fekkers she worked with.
The mater died in 2003
She was always there 24x7 if someone needed her, pity some of the fukkers closest to her forgot that weren't there to return the deeds when her and ma dad needed help
When I heard that Thatcher had dementia, I jumped for joy, knowing how bad it can be, I was ecstatic - I wish her many years of long and dementia filled life ahead
P.S Apologies for language but my spleen was needing vented
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Post by tiddles on Feb 8, 2012 14:29:43 GMT 1
I can't speak for everyone but you don't need to apologise to me for your plain speaking.
It is a dreadful thing to have to say but the situation has not really changed since your mother's time, in fact in many ways it has got worse.
The Carer's Group do their very best but even they are hampered by the red tape and wilful intransigence of the Social Work Department whose only purpose as far as I have seen is to protect the council's assets at all costs.
What you say about friends and family members rejecting your mother is all too common I fear. No one wants to get involved lest the get, 'stuck with it'. For the older ones dementia is terrifying when they see someone so active as intelligent as your mother going downhill. They see themselves in the same predicament and simply cannot face it. As to the churches...don't get me going on that one!!!!
Without doubt, your mother's pain would still have been present but pain also has an intellectual component and it takes many different processes for the brain to recognise it. I have seen this phenomenon quite often.
Over medication is a very significant problem too. All too often we have been too ready to prescribe sleeping pills or strong painkillers to elderly people. It is a well-known fact that as we age, we seem to need less sleep but sleeping pills are not really appropriate and even when there are indications, the drugs should be short term only.
One of the first sign of dementia is extreme talkativeness. For example, the patient will talk incessantly through much loved TV shows or during open conversation. I often hear relatives saying, "she (or he) will not shut up" and this sets off alarm bells in my head. Anti-depressants have their place in dementia care but in my view should only be prescribed by a specialist in gerontology. The side effects of most of them increase the sense of isolation and produce marked sedative effects.
Your mother was only 4 or 5 years older than I am now but I have had patients as young as 50 and the famous actress and beauty, Rita Hayworth developed dementia when she was in her 30s. In other words, it can happen to any of us, at any time.
Treating people with dementia costs the NHS millions every year yet comparatively little money is spent to find a proper treatment. Things like fertility treatment and the likes have had oodles lavished upon it and yet this dreadful affliction is still the orphan. It is the disease that, 'dare not speak its name' (sorry Oscar!).
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rod2mc
Amber Member 
Posts: 442
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Post by rod2mc on Feb 8, 2012 16:11:20 GMT 1
There is scientific research that shows that LSD can reverese the effects of dementia, somehow it manages to re-ignite the synapses in the brain.
The Westminster Govt will hear no mention of allowing more research into the matter by pharmaceutical companies.
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Post by tiddles on Feb 8, 2012 16:52:14 GMT 1
I haven't heard that one Rod but anything is worth trying.
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Post by Wee Jock on Feb 8, 2012 17:29:02 GMT 1
I was going to say something, but can't remember what it was.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 8, 2012 18:52:10 GMT 1
i cant understand so called friends not being there for one another in times of crises....there is so many sad stories to be told and the good thing here is there is an ear here for folks to get this sort of stuff of their chests..whether its happening, has happened or scared its happening, we are all here for one another....
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Post by tiddles on Feb 8, 2012 18:52:23 GMT 1
LOL
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 8, 2012 19:32:29 GMT 1
jocky its just your age...
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Post by samfregreenock on Feb 8, 2012 19:33:21 GMT 1
jocky its just your age... auldtimerz disease? |
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 8, 2012 19:40:06 GMT 1
lol...need to remember that.....
i bought painkillers yesterday and i cant think were i put them........i bought bulbs last week and i remember i put them away safely so i could remember were they were, guess what.......cant think of were i put them.........bugger...anyone know..
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Post by Wee Jock on Feb 8, 2012 20:42:00 GMT 1
Auld something Sam.
Serious note, I've seen to many friends and relatives being overcome by this most awful illness, to see them degenerate to an almost subhuman level and their dignity in tatters, is shattering to those who knew them in health.
Out of all my time nursing working in Dunrod G & H were the most depressing times in my life.
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