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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 24, 2012 22:22:39 GMT 1
lol just as well you could laugh linda, I had great laughs with my mam and dad, still miss them , but have great memories.
Tiddles I am no longer a carer, but when I went to my doctor when I realised I was not all that well, I was sent to the mental health nurse, least said about that person the better, she had'nt a clue, anyway she could'nt help unless I wanted to kill myself.
My solution to her problem was ( the look that says it all ) people who have cared need a place to find themselves again.
I thought maybe that nurse should try thinking for everyone and then one day wake up to find the only person she has to think about is herself, and then realise she dos'nt really know who she is, because she has had to be everyone else and somewhere along the line that personality was lost, mind you I don't think the nurse had much of a personality to lose.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 24, 2012 22:54:52 GMT 1
horn i dont know if you felt the same but for me i had different faces....when i was taking care of my parents i had a happy face....i wasnt angry about taking care of them but didnt want them to know if i was down at all.....
when my mum died i had another face on....i had to be orderly and become someone totally different as i was my dad's eyes as he went totally blind the day my mum died and i think that was through shock.
when i got home i had a depressed face as my daughter had broken her back as she tried to kill herself as she blamed herself for giving my mum the flu....my mum had cancer but trying to get through to polly was a nightmare so i had the councillor face on
then i had a few family deaths that i had to arrange the funerals for so i had my undertaker's face on....
then my dad died so i had the supporting face on for my sister irene and my daughter polly...
it took me a long time to find out who i was as i was so many people...i didnt know myself....after everything settled down and i met jocky and married him i still found it hard to drop the faces but i am learning slowly with his help.......i am me....
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Post by tiddles on Feb 24, 2012 23:00:26 GMT 1
He's a good lad Linda and I am missing him. Tell him the, 'Formal naval person' requires the attendance of another 'former military person'.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 24, 2012 23:07:28 GMT 1
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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 24, 2012 23:19:05 GMT 1
hope all is better with Jock Linda, I had a wee keek at the facebook did my heart good all that laughing.
In answer to my many face , yip wore them all just like you , I used to get up every morning , look in the mirror and say " a new day in the life of joe egg ".
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 24, 2012 23:27:20 GMT 1
i think a lot of carer's dont realise that this is happening to them...i never did till i sat down when things calmed down and wondered exactly who was i.....it seems to creep up on you and from "this is me" to "who am" i is so quick and you dont realise it....
its hard to get the real person back as your totally lost.....that was the way i was for long enough...
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Post by tiddles on Feb 25, 2012 13:50:42 GMT 1
Yes, who cares for the carers. You save the government £billions yet get bugger all in return. They play on your love for the person you care for.
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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 25, 2012 16:01:11 GMT 1
You are right Tiddles it is emotional blackmail .
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 25, 2012 18:47:26 GMT 1
exactly...years ago and i mean many i think.....if you had a mental illness you were packed away and forgotten....SHhhhh dont mention mental illness......
carer's do the work not that they need to but through love of the person.....
my dad was in his 70,s when he died but i remember my aunt who is dead now lol.....sorry had to laugh....she told me one day that if my mum died to put my dad in a home......bitch......
i took care of my dad the way he took care of me and my sisters and that was through love.....at that time i new nothing about a carer's allowance so never put in for it.....it was pure love and if i had the chance to do it all again with him i would do it without hesitation
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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 25, 2012 21:11:41 GMT 1
That was the old ways linda, the days when families stood together and shared the caring. Today families have broken up due to finding work and immigrating, usually it falls to the chosen few.
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 26, 2012 0:25:27 GMT 1
well i never new another way..
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Post by myfindhorn on Feb 26, 2012 0:38:11 GMT 1
I know, it,s like your chosen
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Post by linda wallace on Feb 26, 2012 0:46:41 GMT 1
when you think of all the folks that are on their own and their families just dont bother unless they want something....we know folks like that.its sad
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